Most people are in monogamous relationships. At the same time, they develop sexual behaviors that can be classified as normal. Still, there are those who find joy and pleasure in other behaviors, which are called “consensual non-monogamy” and “paraphilias”, respectively. Cuckolding fits both categories.
Perhaps you have heard this term before. It refers to the excitement a person feels when seeing or hearing her partner having sex with someone else. In turn, she feels pleasure in committing the act with the approval of her partner. In the following lines we will talk about its characteristics and why it causes pleasure.
Characteristics of cuckolding
Cuckolding is considered one of many variants of Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM). This term describes all those relationships in which couples have the freedom to explore intimacy with other people, as long as this has been previously approved.
Therefore, polyamory, polygamy and swingers are included in this category. Relationships of this type have attracted the attention of scientists, especially due to their high popularity in recent decades. In simple terms, we can collect the following characteristics of cuckolding:
- People are part of a stable relationship.
- The participation of both is consensual. It is done to mutually please your partner.
- It does not distinguish sexual inclinations. They can do it heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals and others.
- One of the two does not actively participate in the act, he is only a spectator (very important).
- This can be present in the room or in an adjoining room that has access to the sounds of the act.
- Sometimes, people get the same pleasure without being in person during the relationship. For example, when watching a video of your partner with another partner.
- In the same way, he can also be turned on only if she tells him how the act unfolded, without the need for audiovisual material in between.
For this reason, cuckolding is also defined as paraphilia, that is, behavior that is out of the norm. It is not uncommon for it to be accompanied by other habits such as spanking or kinky sex. The important thing, in any case, is that the pleasure of one of the members of the couple is achieved by observing and not by participating.
How is cuckolding different from other practices?
Although the differences are subtle, cuckolding is not the same as polyamory or swingers. Unlike polyamory, there is no love attraction involved at the time of consummating the act with a third party. This, if you will, is just a tool, an instrument to achieve pleasure. The act revolves only around pleasure and excitement.
With regard to swingers, generally both parties do consummate the act by exchanging partners with another relationship. This does not happen in cuckolding, since only one of them consumes the sexual act. The other just watches, either in the distance or close to them. The pleasure of whoever stars in the role lies precisely in this, remaining oblivious to the scene.
How common is it?
It is impossible to determine the percentage of stable couples who are interested in this behavior. However, it is more common than many believe. As evidence we can cite the growing views and searches on porn pages of the cuckolding category.
Being a practice condemned on a moral level, it is natural for couples to keep this taste secret. If it came to light, society would not hesitate to classify its practitioners as incorrect, unfaithful, adulterous or impious.
Before continuing, it is worth making something very clear; cuckolding does not imply infidelity. Despite this, the data from this can serve as a guide to understand that sexual acts with third parties are not so extraordinary. For example, it is believed that up to 25% of men have been unfaithful, a percentage that drops to 15% in women.
Now, these figures do not correspond to those who enjoy watching their partner have sexual activity with a third party, but it serves as a guide to corroborate that some sexual behaviors are more common than is believed.
Why does cuckolding cause pleasure to its participants?
Answering this question is getting into eleven-yard shirts. Only those who like the practice can respond appropriately, and surely not all point in the same direction. This does not prevent us from elucidating about it. The hypotheses of why cuckolding is pleasurable are summarized below:
- Sperm competition theory: refers to the competition that exists between males to win the favors of females. It applies to the animal kingdom, although some researchers point out that this behavior is latent in some sexual practices. For example, including competition in the sexual relationship can encourage greater vigor, impetus and spirit when copulating later with the partner.
- Compersion: it is defined as the delight that a person experiences when seeing another be happy or enjoy. Applied to relationships it is the complete opposite of jealousy. Studies have tried to classify it as an emotion; one that is present in all kinds of consensual non-monogamous relationships.
- Taboo: pleasure can be caused only because it is something that is wrong according to morality or prohibited by society. This is the incentive behind those who practice dogging. That is, having sex in public places.
- Life history theory: According to some scientists, this theory states that people vary their sexual behavior based on the physical or social challenges that are imposed on them during their developmental stage. Non-monogamy falls within this theory.
Other aspects such as humiliation or jealousy can also come into play when feeling pleasure. The important thing is that all the practices are consensual and, in general, are carried out between those who maintain a stable relationship.